Seeker, enjoying some of that trademark precarious hiking deep in the Amazonian jungle. Good times.
I lost my job today. Thank goodness it wasn’t a blind-side; I’ve been aware enough of the conscious and sub-conscious workings of my powerful-little-self that I saw it coming. And I didn’t stop it. So therefore, I am very accepting.
When I got back from the Amazon just a handful of weeks ago, I knew leaving the corporate world was a necessity. I faked my way through those day-to-days and it doesn’t serve me, nor is it fair to the fabulous people who have employed and trusted me. That’s not to say I’m not a stellar employee – I am, on many levels. Hard-working, smart as fuck, loyal, aces at follow-through – etc. etc. But all in? Nay. Especially these days. I have bigger fish to fry.
Now, make no mistake, this is not how I wanted everything to go down. I’m not fond of sudden, severed endings, and I wish it had all been handled a bit differently, but I don’t always get to call the shots, so I must not resist. I sourced this – that I can own. And as for what’s next – oh god. I really don’t know.
I am proud of myself for not melting down about this loss – for embracing the fact that I created this scenario. Kind of exciting, really – I’m free. I have faith that I’ll figure it out. I have faith that I’ll have a few meltdowns and will have to scrape and pander and freak out a little bit, but this is part of my path. A great way to grow and reach higher. I am a writer – not a worker bee. Not a corporate slave. That was never, ever going to be enough for me. So now’s my chance to figure out a better way.
