Gorgeous little girl who lives in the jungle
Well now, the Seeker was seeking me too . . .
I caved the other day and wrote him. Of course I did. Mercury is in retrograde, in Cancer no-less, and that means all kinds of nostalgia. And since my Venus (the love planet) is in Cancer on my natal chart – wow nelly, I am hanging on to the past. Death grip, baby.
The weird thing is, he wrote back.
I didn’t know if I would ever hear from him again. Ever. But he followed his word – he’s nestled in some remote area, watching monkeys play on his deck and spying sunsets over some body of water through his wall of windows. And he’s writing. Non-stop, he says – FLOWING – and that makes me jubilant. It’s his destiny as much as it is mine. Maybe more – he’s had to fight so hard and sacrifice so much to be his true writin’ self. I just wish we could have done so together.
It feels so good to know he’s alive and well and sometimes smiling. It feel so wretched to know how far away he is. To be Without.
Oh phooey, I can’t wait for Mercury to go forward already, to get me out of this rut, this festering I Miss Him ache. I’m performing a ritual this week to cleanse myself of these painful memories – a burning ceremony. There’s a bracelet he gave me from the Amazon – I’m sacrificing her. Giving her up to the elements so maybe I can start to get my power – all of it – back in my spirit. Then I’ll meditate for an hour or so on why it is I love him so much, and how to fill in that void with something tangible, healthy, and real.
And then, of course, I will fully acknowledge that I am now a hardcore spiritual crazy and there’s no turning back.
