The leader of the Yaheh tribe, showing us some blowgun skillz.
In about ten days, I will be a model of abstinence.
I’ve already been abstaining from physicalities for what, a millennium now? Seems like it. Fine, it’s been since the Seeker, so we’re going back to before the last birthday. Not that it matters. Might be my longest stretch, simply because before this year, I wasn’t too keen on solitude. Not in the romantic sense. I either had a whirlwind point A to B romance brewing or a maybe maybe love. I dove back into dating a couple of months ago, and didn’t like the temperature. I just want to connect, not play a bunch of games. I’m grateful for the chance to connect with myself, and I’m lucky to have found someone that holds my attention and gives me hope. Right now, that’s enough. And then some.
In about a week, I’ll be giving up a whole host of vices. Alcohol. Hardcore spice. Sugar. (Don’t worry, I’m still baking my infamous Christmas cookies, I just won’t be indulging). Excessive salt (omg this is the hard one). Sexual activities/orgasms (not exactly hard to give up something you haven’t been indulging in anyway. Whee.)
This is all for Ayahuasca. See, the more you have conserved your internal energies, the easier it is to *listen*. You’d be surprised how difficult it is to cut through the chatter and really understand her messages. The Shaman told me that by refraining from all of these distractions, my body, mind, and spirit have less clutter. It’s easier to connect. This is hard fucking work, so the more I can ready myself, the better the experience.
Last time, I was my impulsive, carefree, I hate rules self. Seeker and I downed drugs and shitloads of alcohol before our journey. We were always escaping. On the plane ride down, he got mad because they wouldn’t serve him more than a couple of drinks (it was his first time in coach. Yeah.) We ate like royalty and didn’t heed any of the requests, even though he had been before and knew better. Not that I was a victim – I willingly played along. Not this time. Hell no.
But until I board the plane, I’m holding tight to one vice. Caffeine. You can consume this until 24 hours before the first dose anyway. I’m sitting here with my Venti Soy Latte and it’s like a life-giver. When I walk out of my ‘Bucks with this prize in hand, I already feel high. This is my chosen vice. It’s the romantic in me that likes to hold tight to something from the forbidden realm, and caffeine isn’t exactly the devil in liquid form. The problem is the processed nature and impurities, not the up up up side effects. When I’m in the jungle, I’ll chew coca leaves (what cocaine is derived from) and drink guarana. The natives love their energy boosts; they just get them directly from the plants. The difference is astounding. Coca leaves, when chewed for an hour or so, give you this subtle, spring in your step buzz – way less potent than even caffeine. But it helped me walk for 10 hours through the primary forest, so I’m grateful.
I’m betting my lattes will keep me on track from avoiding all the rest of the delicious vices. My energetic visionary pulse, my elixir.
Maybe someday I’ll release my attraction to chemicals all together. Oof, maybe not. That sounds boring. As Robin Williams recently stated, “Reality is for people who can’t handle drugs.” Hah. I’ll drink to that.
