Some of the reasons I can’t stop going back
I’ve been at ma and pa’s the last few days, celebrating an early Christmas and remembering who I am, and who I am not.
We opened presents yesterday. Yes, I’m 31 and I still cherish this process with my parents. I’m the baby of the family, and it means the world to them to still have this ritual in place with me. It’s like a little transport to my childhood, only this time I’m more excited to see their joy, and less focused on my gifts. I love that shift. They are such gentle, loving beings, my parents. I chose wisely.
I’m headed home this afternoon, and will focus on a three day fast that will lead me into the next phase of my life. The return to the Amazon hits on Tuesday. By Wednesday morning, I’ll be in my hammock along the river, readying myself for a massive transformation. I want to love myself, without hesitation. I want to allow success and abundance to wash over me. I want to determine the ways in which I can unlock the same abilities in the whole wide world. I always say that I dream without limits, but it’s not true. Yet.
Oh, and I’m going to cure my asthma. It’s time.
I have such a hard time articulating the journey I’m about to take on, but the words will come later. I have a new label to wear, see – the publishing company put together a marketing plan yesterday for my novel, and they called me (I’m quoting here – I couldn’t possibly make this stuff up): “A Tori Amos/Hubert Selby Jr. hybrid with a little Bukowski thrown in for good measure.” There’s not a greater compliment. Not one. And I must make it so.
Travel on, angel friends. Talk to me before I run away to the jungle.
