Mr. M is Z’s best friend, a bond from the Ashram days, and somewhat of an enigma to me for eons. M was mentioned one million times by my boy, but no possibility of a meet-up. Until a few weeks ago, that is…
M is still in the Ashram, fully pursuing the quest of enlightenment. Amazing, as I can’t even get into an exercise routine.
Ahem.
M is also a healer.
Now, mind you, I was skeptical too.
The H word is thrown around as flippantly as the God word, the Love word, and countless other woo-woo nonsense. I believe in healing, obviously – my Ayahuasca sessions smacked me up and awakened me with a veracity I could never, ever deny. She, and my beloved Shaman, definitely healed all kinds of atrocities in me.
But folks who do “energy work” and cast light spells and perform regression therapy…well, maybe. That’s how I felt.
I want to believe in it all, I really really do…but, well, you understand.
I met M briefly with Z and his sister a while back, and we had a leisurely vegan lunch loaded with lovely convo. I adored him. A very real, energetic, smart as a whip being with nothin’ but love. So I welcomed his offer of a healing session – I had already established a comfort zone.
The day arrived in a jiffy, and I had resistance galore. That’s the ego playing her cards, afraid of any internal change, and unwilling to relinquish the illusion of control. I was on to her, but the sad thing is, I let her win. I copped a “working too hard” bullshit excuse, and hid from transformation.
Shame on me.
A couple of weeks later, I was ready to face the music. What that music would sound like, I had no freaking idea. Part of the fear, of course. But M was willing to jaunt up to our pad and perform the 2 hour session in our homey home. I couldn’t resist. M wouldn’t let me — he’s smarter than my ego anyway.
I went first in the day’s events – there were 3 of us lined up to Receive. I was shaking and fearful, but man, did I ever believe. Right from the get-go, I knew it would be Big.
We talked at first. He mentioned my obvious sadness. I cried immediately at his words, unleashing my fears about moving, about changing…about losing my friends. I felt myself shifting out of the old party girl shell and into a new business-focused, change the world girl, and I was already missing my innocence. He worked with me, sometimes silently, sometimes with words, and things started floating up and out of me.
I lay down on his massage table, and he started working on pressure points throughout my body. He warned that each one might trigger different emotions – sadness, anger, fear, elation — and that I should release. Feel safe to just Be.
And so I did.
It’s astonishing what one healing heave-ho can do to certain parts of your body. My calves lit up with angry pulses. Points in my back shot up layers of abuse and pain. I was holding tight to negative energies that weren’t even my own, and M was attempting a release. So, so amazing and therapeutic.
I lay on my back, eyes closed, for the final part of the session. I suddenly had the sense that my Shaman, Don Rober, was suddenly near me; a show of support. I could smell the paulo santo incense we used to burn before the Ayahuasca ceremonies – so much so that I knew it wasn’t my imagination. This was understandable…we had some in our room that perhaps M found, and it’s not uncommon in the healing circles. I adored the coincidence.
Then I felt M bless my third eye and heart with a very, VERY familiar substance; this magical rose water my Shaman used on us before every ceremony. This was so surprising. Again, we had some in our room, but there’s no way M could have known how or why to use it.
I felt Don Rober so strongly then, I just let go. I cried and called to him. I begged for healing help — my heart was drowning and I just couldn’t go it alone. Could he help? Could he lead me to where I was supposed to be?
As I came to and opened my eyes, M was smiling wide at me.
- Your shaman came to visit. He’s a small man, yes? He wants you to know he’s here to protect you, whenever you need it.
I lost it then, overwhelmed by the magic of it all.
And so it was that my Amazon world came to merge with the here and now, proving that there are no boundaries when you step through the Portal. Since then, I have had a daily dialogue with my guardian angels, the Shaman, and myself…listening to the heart dives, hearing the almost-silent messages that ought to be lit up in neon.
The moral is – believe. Don’t hide behind a silly dose of skepticism…it doesn’t let you heal.
“I want to live where soul meets body
And let the sun wrap its arms around me
And bathe my skin in water cool and cleansing
And feel, feel what its like to be new”
-Death Cab for Cutie
6:58 do you know where my spark is…
