It’s really pretty astonishing how spiritually wacky I’m getting these days.
I blame my Australian ashram-dwelling boyfriend. Or maybe those nutty trips to the Amazon, drinking all those psychoactive plants.
Or maybe…just maybe…I’m on to something.
The big goal these days (and probably until the end of my days) is to relinquish my ego’s stronghold. She perpetually stands in the I Want space–well, all egos do, it’s not as if mine is especially selfish. You know, to be fair. Anyway, I’m starting to connect on such a deep level with the destructive nature of this way of being. Egos serve an obvious purpose; they quite literally keep us alive. They create endless amounts of denial around things like death, propelling us forward and helping us function. So ego, thanks for that. But seriously, you are so full of shit sometimes — I’m on to you, sister.
Everyone is buzzing about The Secret these days, and with good reason. I’m a big fan of the Law of Attraction–it’s bona fide. It is one of the universal laws–I believe. But that damn book/video is feeding the egos of this world a big fucking smorgasboard of craziness. Everything about their messaging come from the I Want space. Which, of course, is why it’s selling like hot cakes (omg, I could so do with a gigantic oatmeal pancake right now…but I digress). Want that gigantic house and a wad full of endless cash? YOU CAN HAVE IT! Just ask the universe.
All of this is fine and well, but a hugely important piece is missing…Destiny. Yes, I believe in it, but alas, I also know this free will thing is the strongest element of all.
It’s crystal clear to me that we all have an assignment of sorts that we’re chasing and fulfilling in this lifetime. For some of us, it does involve making obscene amounts of money (and ideally, doing something a tad more worthy than buying toys and flaunting your shit). For others of us, however, our dharma is more about service, or creative expression, or just keeping this world running and thriving. Which may not involve a stack of stuff to show off and be all smitten for.
This is where The Secret fails. It makes no allowance for the Greater Good–for helping us bypass the almighty ego and find our true calling, with or without the hotsy totsy flauntings. For those of you who are actually on assignment here to be the Beverly Hills bitches, you go girls. For those of you that aren’t, get real and find your hearts.
Everything everything everything serves a purpose…I’m just on a mission now to give justice to mine.
Since I was, oh, about yay high, I knew my dharma. I came here to write. I started with cheesy poems about running away from home, and nowadays, I’m working on novel 2. I climbed the corporate ladder and made gobs of cash and forgot about my words for a while, thinking I had found my true calling.
But it turns out that life was killing me. Straight up. Not because it was inherently toxic, but because it wasn’t my life to live (so soap opera-sounding, no?). I’m so grateful to have this epiphany. Now I can use the Law of Attraction to source my true self, not the laundry list of Please Get Me Thats from my greedy little brain.
I still fall into the stuff trap–I haven’t yet given up my Neiman Marcus card (I’m hoping I’ll discover my dharma includes one with a high limit. Shut-up, a girl can dream.) But the progress is staggering, and I won’t stop until my ego is nothing more than a little child, whispering her wish list to a caring but deaf santa–today, that’s all I really want to want.
