From www.flickr.com/photos/sherrett/2214730263/
Since the dawn of the new year, every day has felt like a vortex. Like I’m falling just a little bit deeper into the Twilight Zone. That’s how the quest to heal has appeared to me these days – my balls-out I Want To Heal At All Costs attitude has thrust me into the hot seat. I am no longer on the fringe of an ashram, I’m fully immersed inside of one. A magnificent mystery school. A place where things I could never, ever give words to happen every single day.
The latest unfolding started with a higher consciousness party (these peeps know how to have a soiree, believe that.) There’s a new pivotal someone in my sphere of influence that must be named now – he shall be dubbed Orion. He’s a consummate hunter of truth and ascension, and he’s single handedly helping to unify the metaphysical community of this scorchingly beautiful valley. In just a couple short weeks, he’s been completely embedded in my heart space, and thanks to the events he helps to organize, my life has been sourced a million times over. I’m meeting empowered, electric individuals with their fingers on various cosmic pulses, and it’s just beyond awesome. So, hat’s off to you Orion – I’m so lucky to know you.
This last Sunday, another active member of the metaphysical crew hosted an enlightenment discussion at his east-side abode. An enlightened being named Jim attended, and I gotta say, it was a trip. It’s irrelevant to relay what was actually said, as the majority of the activity happened way under the surface. Despite my ego’s belief that nothing really transpired except some circle-esque banter and unsatisfactory commentary, something was clearly triggered. The results don’t lie.
Later that evening, I had a conversation with boyfriend Z that pushed me into a seemingly small but no less noticeable emotional state. I watched a groovy DVD (Marie Antionette) and felt a mini-crash coming on. Out of instinct, and slightly against my better judgment, I sent the Guru an email highlighting a couple of things that I felt consumed by – distance from those I love. He responded later the next day, and wow was it a bullet of truth. I got refined in dramatic fashion about my victim consciousness – the most harsh download He’s ever flung my direction. I could have let my ego have her way and retreated into a turtle shell to lick my wounds, but thankfully, the somewhat brutal yet beautifully constructive email made me laugh at first, and ultimately just feel positively loved. It’s so rare to experience such truth, for the sheer benefit of growth – and that’s what Guruji gave to me. In exactly the manner that I would respond to most. Again, I’m floored by how fortunate I am.
Now, it seems I have strep throat, which I also find quite symbolic – my words have been infected, and those that I’ve held back have done the same. I’m learning so, so much about just being honest. No matter what that looks like. That I don’t have to be perfect, that I don’t always have to be on my game or look good. And that if I don’t take chances and rip off the happy dappy bullshit when it just isn’t sincere, I won’t source the kind of feedback I’ve been receiving these past few days. Sure, sometimes I feel like I’m straight out of a Tom Cruise flick – that I might not be able to handle the truth – but how else am I going to snap out of this life-long infantile programming? It is exactly how it needs to be. I’ll just keep feasting on humble pie. I mean, who doesn’t like a good pie every now and again?
