PlantShaman's Enlightenment Blog

Now that I have had blindingly clear moments of awakened clarity, it’s an easy game to call out my sleepy side.  The real fun of this current reality is experiencing both at the same time.

I’m a Gemini, so in some fashion, I have always been aware of my multiple consciousnesses.  Now they’re just becoming more defined.  Orion and I have even given them separate names. Kitty is the higher self, the girl who is wide awake at all times.  She’s the Tao-self, in the flow, loving what is, experiencing the perfection of every single moment.  Kat is the ego, the survivor (because she thinks there is actually something to survive – see, she still believes in death) – the one with protests and resistance and fear.  She shoulders a lot, and I’m learning to really, really love her for that.  But she’s so deeply immersed in the dream she doesn’t even realize she’s not real.  She never will.

There are other entities inside the mind’s eye, but they are just branches of one of these two.  Up until recently, I thought only one could be driving the bus.  Nowadays, I’ve noticed that both can be equally present.  Kat is always trying to take the wheel and have her way, but that’s not very common lately.  She’ll sneak in and take over, but in an instant, gets cast to the back seat once more, grumbling and angsty.  I love letting her out to play.  She’s the one who experiences things, after all, and since I have not transcended experience yet (aiming for that ever-present, beautiful dark abyss from which everything springs but nothing exists), I still see great validity in allowing the ego to seek out new adventures.  The trick is to stay detached, to stay present, and not get caught up in the emotional responses.  Right now, that’s smooth sailing.  As you’ve ready recently in these parts, that hasn’t always been the case.

I do know the next big chapter is brewing.  I’ll be dancing with Aya again in less than 2 months, and possibly with San Pedro way before then.  I’m studying how to make my own cactus brew, with beloved Huachuma / San Pedro, and that will surely thrust me into a whole new layer of knowingness.  He is my favorite, the wise old grandfather, and I can hear him whispering a promise of revelation.  All the things he wants to share with me.  All the things I am ready to hear. . .to awaken to.

Life-wise, things are luminous.  Orion is spectacular, and we’ve just moved back into the house I bought two years ago.  The house I have chosen to walk away from.  I’m breaking up with our lovely little banking system – no counseling will rectify our disconnectedness.  So we’ll ride out the process until the foreclosure man comes knocking.  Exciting, that I might be more than OK with this – feeling the freedom of flowing with what is for the highest good.  It doesn’t look how I expected to, but then again, it never does.  My way is always so boring anyway – I like it better on the cosmic side.

I’m off to meet some favorites for a plant-inspired dinner.  They need info on what the ayahuasca process is all about, so that we may convene together in the near future, dancing in the stillness of a shamanic ceremony.  Yes.  This is worth staying awake for.