If you’re reading this, you probably already have a pretty good notion about what aspects of shamanism this blog tends to focus on. That would be the sacred plants. As most of you know, in April of 2006, I embarked on a a journey of a lifetime that landed me in the Peruvian Amazon. I was blessed enough to find myself working with two master shamans, and after three Ayahuasca ceremonies, I was literally reborn. I would later discover a true affinity for Huachuma ceremonies as well, and can easily point to these experiences as part of the core reasons I am a beaming, vibrant, genuine, enlightenment-chasing love-cat.
I am not alone in these awakenings. Many, many souls over literally *centuries* of shamanic work have found true healing and connection with the all by working with the plants. But shamanism isn’t limited to ceremonial, ritualistic plant-work. The word “shaman” itself means “one who sees in the dark”. This does not imply that plants are the only means by which we can truly see. I’m not expert in this field, but the more that I discover, the more I realize – wow, there is no “core shamanism” (despite the arguments of Michael Harner). No, shamanism is as personal as we are. Although dozens of cultures have embraced the practice of shamanism almost since the beginning of Earth-life, there are very few golden threads. In that short list exists a connection with nature, a recognition that the reality we experience is not *the* reality, and that, simply put, there is more to this world than meets the eye.
These days, most who find their way into an Ayahuasca ceremony do in fact achieve immense healing and onion-peeling beauty. That said, most do not suddenly dive headfirst into a love affair with shamanism itself. This is where I differed – an extension to my life path that still leaves me awed. I was a corporate executive on the path to world domination, living the grand LA life and doing it all in designer threads. How could I have known that I was destined to be “one who sees in the dark?”
You know how when you go into a pet store or a shelter with the intention of finding your dream pet, they in fact choose you? How that Cocker you had your eye on just up and ignores you, while the French Bulldog is proposing puppy-marriage, and shocks with you a heart-melt? That’s what shamanism did to me. She fully and completely seduced me, without any understanding on my part as to why. I had my healings, I reaped the benefits (and could continue to do so) – but why the continued interest in *being one*?
However it transpired, in the immortal words of the alien squeakie from Toy Story, “I have been chosen!” And since that realization, I have naively supposed that all things shamanism must in fact be gravy. In the highest sense, this has been the case, but I’ve been blessed to narrow the field as of late, and find a more focused frequency for me to dance to. At the same time, horizons have dramatically broadened.
A few weeks ago, I attended a weekend seminar from the Foundation of Shamanic Studies. This foundation is headed up by Michael Harner, an esteemed PHD who has attempted to condense all shamanic cultures into the aforementioned “core” groupings. This intrigued me. It’s very Western in its approach – sort of a “one size fits all” methodology, by no means aiming to dilute the complexities of shamanism across the planet, but instead finding those golden threads. I learned all about journeying, power animals, divination, drumming – all kinds of yummy aspects of this tribal, connected world. And make no mistake, I *loved* these processes, and resonated with many very deeply. I did not care for my instructor on any fashion, however, as I felt a serious disconnect. This “core shamanism” structure seemed to accomplish the exact opposite of its expressed intention. Instead of celebrating this practice, it instead felt watered down and almost powerless. And more poignantly, there was a definite dismissal of any “niches” in the traditions. Perhaps this is because there is a fear of legality, or just done out of necessity (the classes are short and you can’t talk about it *all*), but I felt a serious judgment of *my* branch of shamanism, and I find this wonderfully ironic. I used this perceived judgment to find the truth within – looking at my mirror, reflecting back the resistance to plant-work, I found the space within that still had judgment herself. I talked with her, I listened to her, and I found it was just a fear of being ego-less, of being who I really am. Having uncovered this, I gleefully powered on.
Coming out of the experience, a fire was once again blazing within. I had all kinds of new tools in my arsenal – tools I have been using ever since. I journey regularly (a form of meditation – the shamans were the first meditators, and I adore this process immensely) now, communing with my awesome power animal (a jaguar named Satcha that I met in my very first Ayahuasca ceremony). I feel much more whole and complete as a shamanic practitioner, and am even interested in having my own healing center using these methods some day. More timely, however, I remembered who *I* am in the shamanic spaces – I am a plant healer. There will be no more pretending.
In the weeks since, I have gone full scale in finding my next teachers in these spaces. My purpose is twofold – first, I’m focused on finding an accomplished healer that will work with my fabulous desert friends. There are many of us now here in this community that have either had remarkable results with this process, or are ready to dive into these intense and powerful realms. Nothing makes me happier than to watch healing unfold, and to play my role in helping to facilitate these transformations. I have since found several potential healers, and the logistics are underway. All thanks to an intuitive tip from Guru Pranananda. This domino effect has been magical – put your focus on something, and holy catnip does it ever light-up.
Most surprisingly, I uncovered the exact teacher I have been passively, and now actively, searching for since I found this path. I’ve been on the lookout for an apprenticeship of sorts, but really unsure about how that would look. I figured I’d find a traditional plant-healer that was willing to work with me in various capacities, and that would be that. But by declaring my intention and then *detaching* from the exact results. . .I found so, so much more.
Through a remarkable email thread, I landed in the inbox of a woman named Julie McIntyre. She’s an accomplished healer and shaman, with a vast array of expertise. And as luck would have it, she is starting an apprenticeship for a few select individuals *this very weekend*. It’s an 8 month program called an Earth Medicine Apprenticeship. She will be teaching us all kinds of esoteric, magical shamanic intricacies, such as using the heart as an organ of perception, engaging the fruitful darkness (something she calls “Eating the Shadow”), and of course plant identification and medicine-making, Earth-style. She sealed the deal for me when she stated simply that the states of mind I reach in an Ayahuasca ceremony are reachable without a drop of the brew, and she can help me get there.
Since my first sip of Ayahuasca, I have continuously stated that that is the ultimate goal – to access those spaces without the need for the plants. Aya has served as a memory of sorts for me (and thousands of others) – taking us into our true power, beyond the limitations of the “normal” conscious state. There was simply no way I could pass up this opportunity. So, I will be making the 10 hour one-way trek to New Mexico once a month for the rest of this year, juggling an insane schedule and taking a huge leap of faith to go deeper into these mysterious worlds. I am overjoyed, a little freaked out, and totally energized. I feel the power of Ayahuasca within me, as I always do, but she herself is directly guiding me to this experience. It’s interesting, as I am no longer an externally focused being – I fully accept that everything manifested in my world comes directly from within. That said, there are people, spirits and invisibles that I have manifested to work with me, in order to transcend the idea of separation. Ayahuasca is one such powerhouse. And so I will follow her, into the dark, the light, and everything in between. This is one of those mysterious chapters – what will come of this adventure? What exactly will I find? Stay tuned, as I will no doubt reveal all to the glorious blogosphere. Until then, besos!
Next time, let’s talk Tantra, shall we?
[...] mentioned before, I found my latest Teacher in a most magnificent, unexpected chain of email-related events. In a [...]