If my silly little ego thought it was conceivable that all of me would actually accept a subpar, surface-skimming ceremony on my 34th birthday. . .well, she had a vision-filled wild awakening hot on her heels.
Yes, I had admittedly wasted the better half of this cosmic ceremony, consumed by fears that I’d return to the [...]
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Twenty ceremonies. That’s a lot of dancing with the sacred vine. It’s a normal assumption that many cast my way – surely the training wheels are off now, sweet girl. Surely you know how to let go. To go deep. To be not afraid.
And yet, that’s not how these energies work. It seems the deeper [...]
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My 19th Ayahuasca ceremony had drawn to a non-dramatic yet truly painful close. We had all assembled around the burning candles and cozied up close to the Shaman. Stories were revealed. Revelations and struggles laid across our laps like blankets. No matter how nightmarish the journey may have been, we felt cocooned and safe. The [...]
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At this point, the ceremony held the usual litany of intense emotional spewings, a smattering of cosmic visions, loads of profound lessons, and the added (bonus) of some seriously critical brain-sourced judgments and critiques. There were times my head was so full of screaming dialogue, I thought I might drown in the negativity.
But this is [...]
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It’s been established, then, that I was in no mood to revisit the depths of my darkness as ceremony 19 spiraled into reality. And yet I know that control, albeit always an illusion, is really a pipe dream when one ingests the never-subtle goddess Aya. I felt mildly comforted by the presence of so many [...]
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