It’s been established, then, that I was in no mood to revisit the depths of my darkness as ceremony 19 spiraled into reality. And yet I know that control, albeit always an illusion, is really a pipe dream when one ingests the never-subtle goddess Aya. I felt mildly comforted by the presence of so many [...]
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It’s no secret that my March Ayahuasca sessions did a serious number on my psyche. I talked a little too much about how terrifying ceremony #18 was for me – the near psychotic break left me humbled and dazed and. . .shit, just stone-cold freak-a-fide. I thought I had wafted past all of the fearful [...]
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After powering through the absolutely worst, most nightmarish 90 minutes of my life so far, I found the trip back to the ceremonial circle to be pure bliss. I walked from the tiny bathroom to my spot in the space with a poundy little purpose – excited to feel such a tremendous release from my [...]
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There I was, drowning in the metaphorical blackness of my most nightmarish Ayahuasca ceremony. Confronting the deepest layer of my madness. Wondering if I would survive. If I even wanted to anymore. And the only thing I could think of doing to help myself was . . . to ask for help. Throw out an [...]
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The day between ceremony 17 and 18, in retrospect, felt like the ending / beginning of Gaspar Noe’s emotional onslaught film “Irreversible”. Full of sweet innocence, naps in a sunshine drenched park, organic eats with radiant beings. We all quietly frolicked in our aftermaths, some of us touting a few battle scars, but with excited [...]
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