A haunting image from Peru - I don’t know what it is, but it’s magical. Photo by Steve Johnson.

I am frightened of everything right now. Everything inside of myself. My money is running out, and the thought of ever returning to the hideous structure and falseness of an office job literally terrifies me. I have just a few months to figure out how to sustain myself by working from my little home-based office. It must be done or I’ll go insane.

Thank god I have a trip to the Amazon before the levees burst. My answers are down there. I need faith again – I feel the tiny embers of my power still flicker here and there, but I want a fucking firestorm.

And yet, I love this anxiety. It means I just have to listen; to open up and cease resisting. There’s some mighty messages coming down. This much I know.

This is the longest I’ve been alone, too. I’m fine with that. I’ve changed so much about my world in the last handful of months, it would have taken an iron-clad connection to roll along with me. I’m not done yet; not even close. But today, as I drove home from the grocery store, I felt my heart bursting. I am aching to adore and love – it’s astounding how much I have to give. I just need to choose wisely. I just need to listen.

A night of insomnia is a perfect chance for a little Tarot – and a lot of revelation. Tomorrow is a new moon. I want her riches.