The adorable decor of our hotel room in Tucume, at the base of Fire Mountain

To assist, I plopped down in the lotus position right at the end of the mountain’s trail. I asked the universe to make me a beacon, and to start guiding the pilgrims to me. It was selfish, I knew it at the time – I missed my other companions. I wanted Z back. I worried.

The Voice came back once again.

- Trust their processes as you have trusted yours.

- Can I still be a beacon?

I could almost feel the Universe smile.

- Of course. That’s your job.

Within a few seconds, I saw V’s blue windbreaker making her way towards me, and I was elated. So was she. She ran to me and we embraced.

- I saw you in a cloud, Kitty. I saw you flying. You were so soft and beautiful. Do you know how beautiful you are?

I cried and clung to her.

- Oh, stop – it doesn’t matter. We are only mirrors.

She looked at me with complete incredulousness.

- I guess I see others beauty, but never my own?

I nodded and buried myself in her eyes.

More of our friends started meandering down – one by one. I greeted them – sometimes with words, sometimes with embraces, and sometimes silently. But oh my God, I was so happy. I kept thanking the Moon; she told me we were good partners. You need only ask for the elements to help, and they’re there. Just ask. I felt utterly awestruck.

Z was one of the last to meander down, and my heart leapt at the sight of him. I knew he was the group’s guardian, making sure the back of the pack was always accounted for. And me, I was the trailblazer, wanting to be a beacon. I found such poetry in our union.

We walked back to our homestead in reverence, every step digging our lessons in deeper. I pondered the things I learned about myself. I had such drive, such willingness to do what I had to. But there was still ego in the efforts, and that’s what I had to shed. The ego was the one that was fearful. She’s still finding her way down.

Back at our humble abode, we all b-lined for the Mesa. The jaguar skull was moving, its teeth-gritting as it broke into wider and wider smiles. The other objects danced for us, and we felt sucked into this infinite vortex with every breath.

There wasn’t a lot of words, only awe. B, one of the males of the crew, fell to the ground in homage, rubbing his hands deep into the soil. Others of us just stared, seeing different tapestries; hearing different truths.

There were hundreds of mosquitos – massive suckers that suddenly jolted me back to this realm. I excused myself and trekked back to my room, getting warmer clothes and stopping at the bano. I saw myself in the mirror, and I paused to take a moment.

- Your flaws are your beauty.

I said this to myself, as if it weren’t myself. And the real magic here – I believed it.

As I returned to the group outside, we all began to assemble at a nearby fire pit. Our attendant had started a magnificent bonfire, and we huddled around for a variety of reasons – warmth, to escape the mosquitos, and to soak in this magnificent energy. It felt like the mountain had – seething, powerful, and loaded with infinite possibilities. We burned Palo Santo, a cleansing incense, and started to come back into ourselves. We took turn tending the fire, as if our roles had previously been outlined, and I felt the unity of our bonds ignited with our mutual individualities. Unity, and singularity. In perfect harmony.

At last, as the night dwindled, we wandered to the charming dining area and readied ourselves for a bookend – a huge, steaming bowl of the yummiest soup we’d ever tasted. Our darling waitress rushed out to give us the food, and we fumbled over chairs and words, laughing and finding our consciousness once more. The soup flew down my belly and created more fire, more gratitude.

Conversations sparked. DR talked about the holy grail – finding one’s heart. Howard talked about our future Mesas, and the cosmic importance of our work. But I sat silent, soaking it all in, sometimes hearing but always listening. My body felt foreign but comforting, and I fixated on my hands periodically, thanking them for their knowledge and creativity. I thanked my legs for carrying me through this and every day. I thank the Universe for this incredible experience.

As my brain started to fire in a more familiar way, it was finally time to go back to the room. Z and I shuffled back, grinning and shaking our heads – unsure of how to speak of this. I felt a bit of panic as I considered how I would write about my journey, but that voice kicked in again, just as I prepared for my pre-sleep shower.

- Trust the process, dear. Don’t forget — you’re a beacon. You’ll not only find a way, you are the way.

We slept like children, and awoke as warriors.